If you ever feel down, or blue, or sad, or even remotely lachrymose, have no fear!  Pick up a copy of the Twilight series or waste ten bucks to watch the movie.

Funniest.

Thing.

Ever.

It’s so amazingly terrible.

Imagine a six-year-old girl on crack got her very own word processor, and then she proceeded to write down everything that she thought about her dream guy — um, a vampire that really wants to suck her blood, who sparkles like a diamond in the sky, plays super-powered baseball, and bruises and hurts her when he makes love with her.  Oh yeah, sounds like a keeper.

And eventually (in book four!), he’ll impregnate her with a demonic half-breed that grows so fast in her stomach that her spine breaks and a fountain of blood spurts everywhere.  Yay!  So romantic!  Wait, and then, she names it…Renesmee.  Because that name is very pronounceable and normal.

Omgomg!  Edward!  I wish my boyfriend were just like Edward!  ZOMGGG!!!